Be Vulnerable … It’s Awesomely Uncomfortable
You know how vulnerability is often equated with weakness or sensitivity (as if being sensitive is like a disease) ... and its something that many people often avoid. So much so that we will go great lengths to avoid being vulnerable.
I'm here to tell you, that if being vulnerable is what you're avoiding. You are also avoiding experiencing love. You're avoiding human connection. You are most definitely avoiding authenticity. Being authentic includes being totally and completely vulnerable. Being exposed. Letting your not so awesome parts show. It's not always pretty. Often times it includes ugly cries, maybe a little discomfort; but on the other side of all that is a beautiful experience of REAL connection with another person.
When I was a kid I was a "cry baby" and my dad would often tell me to "stop crying" as if crying was the ultimate display of weakness. Come to find out, my dad is a bit of "cry baby" himself. I wonder I where I get it from??
Seriously though, being able to be seen by another person, requires you to be vulnerable. It requires to be seen as your slightly fucked up self. It also allows you to make space for someone else to be equally vulnerable. To be exposed. So the idea of us walking around with these shields up. All sort of existing in these "anti-vulnerablity suits" (I visualize HAZMAT suits) trying to connect with each other. How exactly does that work??
How you can connect with someone when the vulnerability leads to a little discomfort. We have this fear that if we ask for what we want; or better yet if we ask for what we NEED that we will be seen as "needy" or "clingy" or whatever. When the truth is, the person who can say, "Hey ... that thing you did, makes me feel uncomfortable, and this why. And .. I'd really like it if you never did that again." That person is the truly powerful one.
On the other hand. If you're the kind of person who cowers under discomfort, you will never grow. Rumi says, "If you are irritated by every rub, how will you ever be polished?" - We have to be willing to be a little uncomfortable if we want to experience anything REAL. We can just do what's easy. We can do what's simple; but what's simple isn't always easy.
Being vulnerable is simple. Is it easy?? Hell NAH! It is far from easy. However, like with anything, it gets a little easier over time. Not necessarily any less uncomfortable, but easier.
Do you know how often people spend YEARS with someone they are still afraid to be vulnerable with. Afraid to be seen.
Being afraid is natural. Especially when you're doing something for the first time. Or you have a lot riding on a decision. Shit anything can create a little fear. When your heart is involved, it's super scary. Just because something is scary doesn't mean you tap out and avoid it.
What means is, you lean into fear. You view it through a lens of compassion; and you move through it courageously. The greatest treasures are found by champions; not cowards. So don't cower away from vulnerability. Do it afraid. Just go for it.
So today, I encourage you to get vulnerable with someone.
Have an ugly cry.
Apologize for something you know you would take back if you could.
Be willing to be seen for who you really are.
Being vulnerable is awesome. Trust me.
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